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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28772883">I'll always be here to hold you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trobedzone/pseuds/Trobedzone'>Trobedzone</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Community (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boys In Love, Crying, Cuddling, Episode: s05e05 Geothermal Escapism, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, I Promise it Ends Happy, Kissing, M/M, breakdown - Freeform, mention of self harm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:19:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28772883</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trobedzone/pseuds/Trobedzone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just another Geothermal Escapism Fic, with a happy ending :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'll always be here to hold you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>////TW WARNING///<br/>implied self-harm<br/>mentions of self-harm</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Troys Pov</p>
<p>Abed gripped my Pyjama shirt so tightly and sobbed on my shoulder.<br/>
Abed never cried, ever, but right now, he was an absolute wreck.<br/>
I did this to him.<br/>
I hurt the most beautiful, perfect human being on the planet, I broke his heart.</p>
<p>“Troy.” Abed croaked.</p>
<p>“Hmm?” I hummed gently running my fingers through his soft hair.</p>
<p>“Please.” He whispered.</p>
<p>“Please, stay with me.” He cried. </p>
<p>“Darling I-“ </p>
<p>“Please, don’t leave, I won't let you go, I’ll hold you so tightly so that anyone that wants to take you away will have to pry me off you” He whimpered.</p>
<p>“Look at me, baby,” I begged.</p>
<p>I felt Abed shake his head and just grip me tighter.</p>
<p>“Baby, please.” I sobbed.</p>
<p>“I love you. I’m sorry I don’t say it often, I love you so much, will you stay? I’ll be better! I’ll try to have fewer breakdowns, I’ll be better Troy, I promise.” Abed pleaded.</p>
<p>“You’re already perfect, I love everything about you, Abed,” I whispered.</p>
<p>“Then why? Why do you want to leave me? I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry.” He cried.</p>
<p>Abeds body shook in my arms and he was doing everything he could to hold me closer.</p>
<p>“You’re so pretty, your laugh is beautiful, your mind is just magical, I never thought I could find someone who’d understand me the way you do, you are my favourite thing that’s ever happened to me. You mean everything to me, Abed, I’ll come back to you I swear. I’ll always come back to you.” I assured him.</p>
<p>“I can’t be without you for a year, who will be there to hold me? I sometimes just really need you to hold me.” He whined.</p>
<p>“I’ll hold you forever as soon as I’m back.” </p>
<p>“Why can’t that start now? Why can’t you just never let me go? I know you want to figure yourself out but can’t you do that with me? I’ll help you? I can help you! I’ll do whatever, let me help you!” Abed rambled.</p>
<p>“I can send you emails and postcards as much as possible,” I whispered.</p>
<p>“Who will run their fingers through my hair and tell me things will be okay? Who will make me smile? No one can make me smile the way you do. I’ll miss your voice too much, I’ll miss your pretty smile, I’ll miss you too much Troy.”<br/>
He sobbed.</p>
<p>“What if I somehow figured out a way to let us go together. Would you come with me?” I questioned.</p>
<p>“I’ll go anywhere with you,” Abed whispered.</p>
<p>Abed lifted his head from my chest and his teary eyes met mine, he truly looked broken.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, baby.” I cried.</p>
<p>His lip quivered and more tears fell from his eyes.</p>
<p>“I love you, T-Troy.” He said.</p>
<p>“Oh darling,” I moved my hand to cup his face, I gently rubbed my thumb against his tear-stained cheek.</p>
<p>“I love you too, Always.” </p>
<p>Abed leaned into my touch.</p>
<p>“My pretty boy,” I whispered.</p>
<p>I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips.</p>
<p>“So gorgeous. Always, so pretty.” I mumbled smiling weakly.<br/>
He pushed his face back into the crook of my neck. </p>
<p>“I can’t do this without you, I want to be able to let you go, I swear, I’m just terrified about what will happen to me after you leave, I was such a mess when I lost my mom, and I really don’t want to be back there, it was such a dark time and it was terrifying,” Abed mumbled.</p>
<p>“Do you want to talk about it?” I questioned, gently combing my fingers through his hair.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to scare you, it’s a lot,” Abed whispered against my chest.</p>
<p>“It’s okay baby, I’m here to listen,” I said softly.</p>
<p>I shifted a little and Abed jumped wrapping his arms tighter around me.</p>
<p>“Don’t leave me.” He cried.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry princess, I didn’t mean to startle you,” I said then gently kissed his forehead again.</p>
<p>“I was in the hospital for months.” Abed blurted </p>
<p>I gave him a puzzled look.</p>
<p>“When she left I was only six so I didn’t understand till I got older, but when I turned 13 I started to feel like everything was my fault, kids would tease me at school, my dad never actually said it but he implied that it was my fault then it’s like I.. went crazy. I started doing these things to myself. Hurting myself. I was trying to punish myself I guess,” He rambled.</p>
<p>“Baby, what do you mean by hurting yourself?” I asked.</p>
<p>“It’s embarrassing.” He mumbled into my shirt.</p>
<p>“I won’t judge you, darling, I just want to know if I can help.” </p>
<p>He stretched his arm out and pulled up one of his sleeves.</p>
<p>“They are really faded but they are there.” He whispered.</p>
<p>I looked closely at his arm and noticed all the faded scars.</p>
<p>“Abed. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry you went through that. I wish I knew you then, or I wish I could have done something, I- I-l”</p>
<p>“Troy, don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong,”  Abed said, cutting me off.</p>
<p>I gently traced my fingers over the scars and tears flowed down my cheeks. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” I whispered.</p>
<p>I lifted his arm to my lips and kissed it gently.</p>
<p>“I’m not going anywhere, baby. Not without you. I didn’t stop to think, I can't do this without you, I can barely go an hour without seeing your pretty face. You’re my everything Abed, I know that sounds super cheesy and lame but it’s true, you mean the world to me.” I said.</p>
<p>Abed lifted his head for the first time in a while and looked at me. </p>
<p>“There isn’t a single thing in this universe that could mean more to me than you do, I used to always make fun of people who said that in movies but now I really get it.” He quietly said.</p>
<p>“Is it okay if I kiss you?” I questioned.</p>
<p>“Yes. Please.” Abed answered weakly.</p>
<p>I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him onto my lap.</p>
<p>“I love you, more than anything,” I whispered.</p>
<p>Tears dripped down Abed's face and he smiled weakly.</p>
<p>“I know.” He whispered back.</p>
<p>He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine.</p>
<p>He laid back down beside me and cuddled closer.</p>
<p>I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around his waist.<br/>
“I’m so sorry,” I said quietly.</p>
<p>“For what?” He asked.</p>
<p>“For hurting you so much, I never should have said I was going to leave, I’m so stupid, I’m really sorry,” I mumbled.</p>
<p>“You know… it’s really unfair that you still look gorgeous when you're crying.”  Abed said, causing me to crack a smile.</p>
<p>“I don’t,” I whispered.</p>
<p>“You do and it’s fine, it's been a long time since I’ve cried it was nice to finally get it out also, you are staying for me, no one has ever done that,” Abed replied. </p>
<p>“I couldn’t ever leave you, life would suck without you,”  I mumbled.</p>
<p>“I still feel horrible about worrying you so much, I was so fucking stupid,” I added.</p>
<p>“I’m fine, it happens, I never had someone to hold me before and tell me things will be okay, now I have you, you can always make me feel better, and I love everything about you,” Abed said.</p>
<p>“I love everything about you too, I’ll always be here to hold you, I promise,” I assured him.</p>
<p>“Thank you.”  he smiled and buried his face in the crook of my neck.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>listen to</p>
<p>Impossible - Nothing but thieves<br/>Before we drift away - nothing but thieves <br/>Lover, please stay - nothing but thieves </p>
<p>then you can thank me after :) </p>
<p>Twitter @trobedzone<br/>tumblr @trobedzone<br/>Trobed art Instagram @Trobedartzone</p></blockquote></div></div>
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